Alphabetic Moviefics
by ShellGrad
Summary: Another installment of the alphabetic spin-off series of ABCs of Fluff. Title self-explanatory. One-shots. Humor, Romance, Friendship
1. Movie List

**Disclaimer: I think it's safe to say I don't own the Mentalist or the rights to any of these movies. I do own some of the movies on DVD though :)**

**Hello faithful readers. I'm no where near ready to start posting chapters for this but I have so many fic ideas that I'm starting to run out of space on my computer. So, I needed this list to be on the internet. This WILL be done at some point, just not soon unless I'm struck with inspiration.**

**As with my other spin-offs, these chapters can be parodies, dreams, characters talking about the movies, characters watching the movies...I doubt there will be any crossovers but you never know. UPDATE: LIST COMPLETE. Feel free to suggest any you'd like to see done. If I don't use your suggestion, it's because I either can't think of anyway to do it or because I haven't seen the movie. It would, after all, be very difficult for me to do something that I haven't actually seen. The list below is not set in stone. So far, I've only written three of them and I rarely write these chapters in order. These will be one-shot chapters. Now that we're all familiar with the rules of my spin-off series, on to the list.**

* * *

A – Anaconda

B – Burlesque

C – Charlie's Angels

D – Definitely Maybe

E – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

F – Friday the 13th series

G – Godfather

H – He's Just Not That Into You

I – Indiana Jones series

J – Jaws

K – Karate Kid

L – Letters to Juliet

M – Minority Report

N – the Notebook

O – Ocean's 12

P – Pirates of the Carribean

Q – the Quiet Man

R – Rambo AND Rocky

S – Sixteen Candles

T – Titanic

U – Up

V – the Vow

W – Wizard of Oz

X – X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Y – You've Got Mail

Z – Zombieland


	2. Chapter A

**I always appreciate those who read/review!**

A is for "Anaconda"

Jane lay on his couch, eyes closed, listening to the tapping of keyboards as his teammates did paperwork on a rare crime-free day. He sighed as he allowed the rhythmic noise begin to lull him to sleep. Just as he was about to drift off, he saw red lights flash from behind his eyelids and a blaring horn alerted them all to an unknown danger that caused the lockdown. He opened his eyes and sat up just in time to see Lisbon run out of her office, her eyes frantic.

"Boss?" Rigsby asked as they all awaited her orders.

"Some idiot let a snake into the building."

"That's it?" Van Pelt asked with raised eyebrow, clearly unimpressed.

"This isn't some garden snake, Van Pelt," Lisbon snapped before going right back to frantic. "It's an anaconda."

"What? Like the movie?" Cho deadpanned.

"Yes, like the movie!" Lisbon clearly had very little patience at the moment and Jane couldn't help but poke _that_ particular bear.

"Actually, movie makers highly exaggerate the length and aggressiveness of snakes. I highly doubt the snake in this building is that long. So there's no reason to be scared, dear Lisbon," he teased, adding a slightly condescending look for good measure. He raised his hands when he saw her slowly raise her gun in his direction. "Lisbon, it was a joke."

"Jane," she whispered slowly, "don't move."

He followed her eyes to see the tip of an olive green tail slithering beneath his beloved couch. He looked back to see her still staring at the same spot. "Lisbon," he said slowly, trying to keep her calm. "Whatever you do, do not shoot. It's just a snake."

"It is most certainly NOT 'just a snake,' Jane. I saw the movie Anaconda. It'll eat us all one by one and the whole CBI will be filled with dead, regurgitated CBI agents."

"I think I might have actually lost my appetite," Rigsby grimaced.

"Lisbon, that movie was based on giant anacondas which don't actually exist."

"Doesn't matter. It's still huge and it's dangerous. I'm protecting mankind right now."

"Teresa Lisbon, if you shoot me because of silly snake, you are not the only one in this relationship who's going to have trust issues! Now, lower the gun."

"Mmm-mmm," she mumbled as she stubbornly shook her head.

"Lisbon! You're being ridiculous! I am not going to continue this ridiculous conversation with you! You are going to lower the gun and I am going to gently get off the couch."

"No!" The whole room screamed.

"You could spook it," Cho explained.

"Yeah, it might strike if it sees your foot."

"Hey, Jane," Lisbon spoke. "Slowly put one foot out and see if you get it to come out and I'll put a bullet through his head."

"Are you insane, woman?" He looked at her incredulously before seeing she was serious. He stood up on the couch and jumped onto his desk before slowly climbing off, not spooking the snake.

He walked over to Lisbon, the only person who hadn't watched him and instead chose to stubbornly stare at the leather couch as if she could will the snake out telepathically. "Lisbon," he said, carefully placing his hands on her shoulders.

She jumped slightly but didn't shoot as he'd feared. Everyone watched the pair silently, snake forgotten. He slowly slid his hands from her shoulders, down her arms, to her hands, eventually taking her gun from her hand and placing returning it to its' proper place at her hip. The intimacy was not lost on anyone watching. Lisbon stood dazed, staring transfixed at the leather couch until Jane gently turned her and walked her toward her office.

"Wonder if he could charm the snake," Rigsby mused.

"If he could, it would've been a much shorter movie," Cho said before signaling animal control to proceed and getting back to his paperwork. He now had the urge to watch Anaconda though he was sure Lisbon didn't share the sentiment.


	3. Chapter B

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show, the characters, or the movie.**

* * *

B is for "Burlesque"

"Burlesque dancer found dead in the alleyway just outside the lounge," Cho announced as he hung up the phone.

"Why are they calling us?" Van Pelt asked.

"It's a high end lounge. If the perp is a customer, it's our territory," Cho explained as he stood and put his jacket on.

"Which is most likely the case, so they called us," Van Pelt finished. "Where's Lisbon?"

"With Jane, getting chewed out by Wainwright. Where's Rigsby?"

"Taking Ben to the doctor for an ear infection."

"Alright, let's go then."

* * *

"Lisbon would never do it." Jane's voice rang out down the hallway to the approaching woman in question.

"Do what?" She asked as she entered the bullpen.

"Go undercover as a waitress at a burlesque lounge," Cho answered.

"What's a burlesque lounge?" Lisbon asked.

"Have you never seen the movie?" Van Pelt asked her boss as if she'd somehow lived under a rock her entire life.

"What movie?" She asked with a roll of her eyes.

* * *

"It's fancy lingerie!" Lisbon accused, nearing panic mode. She was sitting beside the rookie on her office couch, a laptop playing the movie set between them.

"It's burlesque," Van Pelt explained, barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"What does that even mean?" Lisbon asked exasperatedly.

Van Pelt sighed. "Just watch the movie," she grumbled, Lisbon never tested her patience like this.

* * *

Laying on the leather couch, Jane peeped open an eye as Van Pelt's voice sounded from outside Lisbon's office. She seemed to be struggling to pull their feisty boss from the confines of her office. "Lisbon, this is ridiculous. Just get out here."

"No, they'll see me." And he thought he'd never hear the agent whine.

"Well, of course they'll see you. That's the whole point," she grunted and with one last pull, had Lisbon in the hallway of the CBI…or what at least sounded like Lisbon since it surely didn't _look_ like Lisbon. No-nonsense CBI Agent Teresa Lisbon did not wear electric blue corsets or fish net stockings…or short, black ruffled skirts that barely covered anything. Jane caught himself from falling just in time, not noticing he'd been leaning farther and farther from the couch to get a better look. He corrected himself and schooled his features as the two women headed his way.

"What do you think?" Van Pelt asked.

Jane looked up from his couch, pretending to notice the pair for the first time. He looked Lisbon over, keeping his features expressionless. "It's sort of a slutty Mrs. Peacock," he responded, sounding unimpressed.

"I'm done," Lisbon announced, attempting to leave the room.

"No you're not," Van Pelt contradicted, grabbing her boss's wrist. She glared at Jane.

"She grabbed me!" Lisbon told Jane incredulously while he merely chuckled. She stomped her stiletto heel.

"Seriously, Jane," Van Pelt ordered with a glare.

"I was serious."

"Yeah, he was _seriously_ drooling while the both of you weren't looking," Cho said, sitting at his desk.

Jane turned to look indignantly at the man when Rigsby spoke up. "Don't expect me to be on your side either, Jane. You pointed it out every time I looked at Grace like that."

"Drooling?" Van Pelt raised an eyebrow, smirking while Lisbon just uncomfortably avoided everyone's eyes and ignored the conversation. She was _so_ not going there.

"_Practicing_," Jane insisted. "If I am to play the part of the rich, interested trouble maker, I'll need to practice. Lisbon is, after all, my best friend despite her beauty. No matter how attractive she is, it's bound to be slightly awkward so I'll need to practice, unless you want me to blow the operation."

"No!" Lisbon shouted, clearing her throat when everyone looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Let's just do this."

"You got it, Boss," Cho said as he stood and handed her a license. "Your new identity."

"Christina?" She said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Jane's idea," Van Pelt explained. "We made the mistake of leaving him unattended for all of ten minutes."

"Of course," she said dryly.

* * *

Lisbon adjusted the bleach blonde wig one last time before leaving the bathroom and making her way to the bar, cursing under her breath the whole way. She picked up the tray and notepad, faking a seductive smile as she made her way around the room. It was the busiest time. The show girls had just finished the opening number and had about 5 more minutes until they had to get back on stage. Her eyes drifted to the familiar blonde curls and sharp, pin-striped suit. He was flirting with their key suspect, the psychopathically jealous drama queen in need of all the attention, just as planned.

She tamped down the rage building up at the sight of them. She chalked it up to the many patrons currently feeling her up in all directions. As the show girls started to make their way back stage, Lisbon's eyes drifted again to the pair as the queen bee overly pouted and joined her minions.

She decided to use his empty scotch glass as the perfect opportunity to make her play. She sauntered up to him, her smile predatory. "Hey there, handsome," she said as she stroked his jacket lapel. "Can I get you a refill?"

He smiled as he met her eyes, clearly impressed with her acting. "Actually," he whispered, leaning in conspiratorially, "I was thinking about something that's very much intoxicating in a different sense."

She suppressed a shudder, instead allowing her smile to widen and her body to drift toward him. "I'm afraid we don't do that kind of thing here, handsome."

Jane heard the music start and saw their queen bee eyeing them. So he stepped it up a notch. He reached forward and fingered the corset material. "Is this satin?"

"Silk actually," she breathed.

"You know, I've always enjoyed the feel of silk," he said huskily as he put both hands on her tiny waist and pulled her forward.

She fingered his jacket, leaning into him and lifting her foot in a girly fashion, toeing the dirty wooden floor behind her. "Have you now?"

"Oh, absolutely, Teresa." Her name rolled off his tongue as smoothly as the silk she was wearing.

She didn't bother containing her smug smile as she leaned forward. "The name's Christina, Mr. Jane," she purred in his ear.

He bit back a groan and tore his eyes to the stage. "She's making a break for it, Lisbon."

Lisbon responded immediately, turning around and making her way toward the suspect, gradually speeding up to a sprint before tackling the queen bee in the back alleyway. Jane strolled up as Cho moved in with handcuffs. "Nicely done, Lisbon. And in stilettos, no less." They shared a smile as the team made their way to the van, Lisbon and Jane walking slowly toward the Citroen. "So, why hand off the arrest to Cho?"

Lisbon laughed. "Do you really think I can fit a pair of handcuffs anywhere on this outfit?"

He shrugged. "Probably not but I'd be willing to take a few guesses as to the possibilities," he said, sending her a naughty grin which she matched. They walked in silence for a few beats before Jane reached over and removed the wig. "You look better as a brunette," he explained at her questioning look. "Never change, Lisbon. Never change."

* * *

**By the way, I have no idea what material corsets are made of. Not entirely confident with the way this turned out but I really only had a vague idea to begin with. Reviews much appreciated though not necessary.**


	4. Chapter C

**Disclaimer: As if you don't already know :)**

**So sorry for the late updates! Anyway, 2 chapter updates today will hopefully make up for that :)**

* * *

C is for Charlie's Angels

Jane watched from Lisbon's office couch as she and their latest witness, an 8-year-old girl, walked toward the girl's mother. He smiled slightly as Lisbon stopped and the girl ran forward, the mom stooping to envelope her little girl in a gripping hug before standing to undoubtedly thank Lisbon. He gave a small laugh in the empty office at the slight tension in her shoulders before she made her way back to the office as the mother and daughter left.

"What did they say this time that's made you so uncomfortable?" he asked when she'd joined him in her office.

"She called me an angel," Lisbon answered with slight disdain as she went to sit behind the desk and start on paperwork.

He chuckled quietly. "Charlie's Angel maybe."

"What?" she nearly laughed.

"Yeah, think about it," he sat forward, obviously excited about the idea. "Beautiful, intelligent, capable of kicking ass," he listed off.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Lisbon asked teasingly.

"The more important question is which Charlie's Angel you are," he said, pointedly ignoring her question. Answering would open quite the can of worms.

"Really," she countered dryly as she got back to work, letting him off the hook for not answering her question for the moment.

"Mmhmm. You're definitely not Cameron Diaz."

"What? You think I'm not as pretty as she is?" She laughed. Sometimes he just made it too easy.

"Oh, without a doubt, dear," he answered absently, not realizing until it was too late to take back. "But you aren't nearly as reckless or crazy. Remember, the movie showed us that scene where she's driving ridiculously recklessly in Driver's Ed.? Sensible Lisbon would never do that."

"Because you do that enough for the both of us," she protested.

"Though her dancing in her underwear does remind me of a certain dark-haired lady cop dancing to a Spice Girls CD in a jersey." A sly smile graced his features and Lisbon couldn't help feeling a little dirty though she knew it was irrational. She hadn't done – or _shown_ – anything that night. "You're not really Lucy Lui," he continued.

"Too obvious she comes from good money."

Jane paused, a little uncomfortable with going there. "I was going to say too great of a need for perfection but sure, your explanation suits too. Of course, your cooking is probably the same as her character's," he added, thinking of the rock-hard muffins. He laughed and dodged the balled up paper that flew his way, looking up to see her smirk.

"Though there is that one scene when she's wearing the tight leather and she has the whip," his eyes roamed over her, slightly suggestively. He smiled at her blush as she pretended to ignore him. "I could surely see you as the barracuda type."

"Shush," she muttered with a smile, unsuccessfully trying to hide her face.

He enjoyed her flushed face and obviously flattered smile before snapping his fingers as if just coming to an epiphany, causing his partner to snap her head up expectantly. "I got it. You're Drew Barrymore!"

She scoffed and turned her attention back to the same line she'd already read three times. "You're being ridiculous."

"Hard life growing up. Bit of a rebel as a teen. Always pushing people away. Always falling for the wrong man," he listed off.

"Since when do I fall for the wrong man?" She turned to him, cynical.

"Mashburn."

She rolled her eyes before training them back to the desk. "I didn't fall for Mashburn."

"No, I don't suppose you did…Greg."

Clearly he was in the mood to be ridiculous. "In what way was Greg the wrong man?"

"Not wrong in that he was a bad man. No, clearly he was a wonderful man. Just the wrong man for you."

"And just who is the right man for me?" she challenged.

"Well, who knows these things really?" He fumbled slightly.

"Mmhmm," she muttered but let it go. _Coward_, she laughed slightly to herself. "Could you do that?" She asked after they'd been silent awhile. "Work for someone you never see?"

"Have you ever actually met the President? Or the mayor of California?"

She rolled her eyes and went back to her paperwork. "No," she grumbled.

"I see what you mean though. There is something inherently wrong with taking orders from a speaker box."

"Yeah, you'd probably like to change that to taking orders from anyone," she quipped with a smile.


	5. Chapter D

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist or the movie Definitely Maybe or any of the characters.**

**AN: Continuing the alphabetic movie shots. Spoiler only if you haven't seen the movie; and if you haven't, you should check it out. It's a good movie, really cute. Since this is a one-shot, it will be a bit more condensed so if the quality isn't that great, I'm sorry. If anyone wants to extend it, feel free.**

**AN2: Written sometime around Christmas time.**

**So, if you have seen the movie, here are the roles:****Patrick Jane as William Hayes, Hannah as Maya, Sophie Miller as Emily, Teresa Lisbon as April, Kristina Frye as Summer, Lisbon's cross as the copies of Jane Eyre.**

* * *

D is for "Definitely Maybe"

"Hey Dad?"

Patrick Jane turned to face the little blonde-haired, blue-eyed eight-year-old beauty sitting on the kitchen barstool in his apartment. "Yes Hannah?"

"How did you and Mom meet? And I want the real story this time."

"The real story is complicated."

"I'm old enough to understand love isn't a fairytale. Besides, you two are getting divorced. So I think it's only fair that I know how you two got together so I know what went wrong and brought us to where we are now."

"Hannah, you already know why we're here now. Your mom and I just had some differences we couldn't work out. Hearing this story won't change anything."

He sighed, resigned to his fate. She was giving him that adorable stubborn pout that always seemed to remind him of a certain lady cop he'd not seen in a while. "Okay, but I'm changing the names and not giving you all the details. So, you'll have to figure out for yourself who your mother is from the story." He gave her a challenging look and contained his laugh when she shot him a look right back.

He turned back to the dinner he was fixing. "You remember the story I told you about my first family?"

"And how Red John took them away, yes, I remember."

"Well, afterwards, I was…depressed. I saw a therapist for a while and she helped get me back on my feet. Her name was Emily."

"That's who my mom is!"

"You sure?"

"Definitely…maybe."

"Well, the story's just started. Anyway, that was when I decided I needed to set things right and avenge my first family's deaths. So, I joined the CBI."

"Wait, the place you went to work after you and Mom split up?"

"Yes, but back then I worked for someone different. Her name was Teresa. She was the agent in charge of the Red John case, which was the reason I was there. She was surprisingly lenient for a boss who wore a gold cross necklace everywhere she went. It was her mother's. She got it right after her mom died."

"That's who my mom is!"

"You sure?"

"Definitely…maybe."

Jane smiled and continued. "While I was working at the CBI, I met a fellow conman – well, conwoman – on a particular case. Her name was Summer. "

"Wait! _Fellow_ conman? You used to be a conman?"

He paused and was apparently hesitating to long, if his daughter's look was anything to go by. "Yes, but I did not mean to tell you that. Your disapproving glare is noted, sweetheart." Sometimes she really did remind him of Lisbon. "Anyway, after we closed the case together, we went out for dinner. Later on, Emily contacted me to solve the murder of her ex-husband. We shared a kiss and that was it."

"I'm not seeing a lot of opportunity for me to come along, Dad."

"Patience. I'm getting there."

"Well, can I get the flash forward version?"

"This is the flash forward version. I haven't even mentioned the fact that Teresa was there the entire time."

"You cheated on Teresa?"

"No, we were just friends…best friends, actually. I mean, we started out as colleagues but we came to be a lot closer over the years. It was inevitable, really, what with all the secrets we kept for one another... the numerous cases we solved together… all the late nights…"

"Should I get the guitar in case you decide to spontaneously break into song?" She smirked at him.

"Alright, miss smarty-pants, continuing on with the story. I didn't have any more relationships until after Red John died. Cho was responsible for taking that shot. You've met Cho."

"Yeah, I remember him."

"After that, I took a vacation. That's where I met Emily again. It was fate. We sat by the pool and caught up with the missing years. We started dating."

"And that's who Mom is! Emily is really Sophie Miller, my mom."

"You sure?"

"Definitely."

"You're right," he congratulated and sat back to enjoy the happy dance.

"So, what happened?" She asked when she sat back down.

"What do you mean 'what happened'? You wanted to know the story of how your mother and I got together and now you do."

"The rest of the story. What happened after you met?"

"Vacation ended. I went back to work. Your mother and I continued dating. We got married. When she had you, I quit the CBI. I wanted to do it right this time."

She reached over and put her hand over his. "You did it right. But, that's not good enough. What happened to Summer and Teresa?"

"What do you think happened?"

She thought it over for a minute. "If Emily is really Sophie aka mom, Summer is…that lady Mom is trying to help at work. Kristina Frye. Red John turned her catatonic or something."

"That's right."

"Teresa…wait, I've met Teresa."

"Briefly, yes."

"She wasn't wearing a gold cross when I met her."

"No. Somewhere between getting back from vacation and leaving the agency, Lisbon lost her necklace. We were going after some a particularly brutal gang and she was held hostage. It was ripped from her neck during a struggle."

"Why would someone do something like that?"

"They just thought it was a cross. They had no idea about her mother. They weren't a particularly religious group of people. It was meant to add insult to injury."

She nodded gravely and they were both silent for a while until a thought occurred to her. "You didn't change her name."

"No."

"You…"

"Hannah," he dragged her named, warning her not to go there.

She stood up and pointed an accusing finger at him. "You didn't change her name!"

"It didn't occur to me."

"Excuses. You need to go talk to her."

"Why is this so important, Hannah?"

"Because you deserve to be happy, Dad. I don't want you to end up all alone."

"I'm not alone, Hannah. I have you. I have my friends. I even have your mom. We're still friends."

"Hey, what happened to Teresa's necklace?"

"Oh, um, that's complicated."

"Really? You just told me that whole story and the necklace is more complicated?"

"Well, she looked for it in every pawn shop in the city but she never did find it."

"But you did," she declared after scrutinizing him.

He nodded. "I found it in the gravel that very day."

"Why didn't you give it to her?"

"It's complicated."

"Would you stop saying that?" She huffed in frustration.

"I know it was wrong," he admitted softly.

"It was her mom's," she whined accusingly.

"I know that," he sighed and shook his head.

"Do you still have it?"

"What?" He looked like he was caught for a split second before schooling his features into the epitome of innocence.

"Do you still have Teresa's necklace?" He nodded. "Then give it to her," she ordered.

"It's not that simple," he hedged.

"Yes, it is. And don't just put it in her office for her to find later. Give it to her like a man and explain what happened. She deserves that much."

"Yes, she does. But, Hannah, this may not happen soon. I don't work under Teresa anymore."

"Find a way," she growled.

* * *

"So, how'd it go?" Hannah asked as she plopped herself down.

"How'd what go?" Jane asked with his back turned to her, focused on the stove.

"Dad," she groaned.

"Hannah, you ask me the same question every day. I still haven't gotten a chance to talk to her."

"Make the time to talk to her. You're not even trying!"

"Well, for your information, the chance has already been made for me. They're moving me back under Teresa to work with her team."

"Who did you insult this time?" She asked with such exasperation, he smiled as Lisbon's face came to mind.

"Not important," he evaded.

* * *

"Did you do it?" She asked excitedly, shedding her coat and hanging it in the closet.

"Yeah," he answered reluctantly.

"And?"

"And she kicked me out of her office and hasn't said a word to me since."

"She kicked you out?"

"And I made her cry."

"You made her cry?" Hannah's eyes threatened to bulge out of her face.

"I told you this wasn't going to have the happy ending you're looking for. It has a happy enough ending as it is, Hannah."

"But, it wasn't supposed to end like this! You were supposed to tell her the story."

"Hannah, she lived the story."

"No. She doesn't know you loved her all along. She doesn't know that you kept that necklace because it was the last thing you had left of her."

They waited in challenged silence before a smile grew on his face. "Grab your coat." She did so with his signature megawatt smile.

* * *

Lisbon heard the knock on her door and debated on whether or not to get up. "Lisbon, you might as well open the door. I know you're in there." She rolled her eyes at his voice and stayed put, wrapping herself tighter in her blanket.

"Don't say that," a younger, female voice reprimanded. "If she knows it's you, she'll never open the door."

Confused, Lisbon stood and looked through the peep hole at the pair.

"She knew it was me when I knocked on the door. The only other way she could be more confident was if I tried to pick the lock," Jane pointed out.

"It's a good thing I got my morals from Mom," Hannah grumbled. "You obviously need Teresa in your life to keep you from doing bad things."

"I'll have you know that more often than not, Teresa – "

"Is listening on the other side of the door!" Lisbon finished, tired of being talked about. Jane gestured to the door as if Lisbon just proved his point about her knowing it was him all along, causing both Lisbon and the young girl to roll their eyes. "Who is that?"

"Ah, yes, it's been quite some time since you've seen each other. Lisbon, you remember Hannah, my daughter." She waved and Jane smirked as he heard Lisbon hit her head on the door.

"I am SO sorry, Hannah. I do remember you. It's just that last time I saw you, you were a little baby. I'm sorry! I know how kids hate it when you say things like that. Not that you're a kid!" She groaned in frustration with herself.

"It's okay, Teresa. Dad has something to tell you…a story."

"What story?" Lisbon asked warily.

"The story of how he and my mom got together."

"Jane, I already know how you met Sophie."

Hannah groaned in irritation. "It's different! I swear, you adults make everything so much more complicated than it needs to be."

"Teresa," Jane cut off his daughter's rambling, "I've been in love with you almost since the day I met you. And even though it was beyond wrong, I kept the necklace because it was the last thing I had of you." He could hear her thinking on the other side of the door. He was just about to give up when the door swung open.

"Hannah, would you like some ice cream? There's some on the top shelf in the freezer. We can have some while you tell me the story. Except you," she pointed at Jane with narrowed eyes. "You can come in and you can tell me the story but you get no ice cream."

Hannah smiled at them and disappeared in the direction of the kitchen. Jane saw Lisbon's eyes divert toward the kitchen. He looked over her shoulder in the same direction. "She's gone," he told her, though he wasn't sure why Lisbon wanted to know. But it didn't take long for him to find out. Within seconds, her lips were on his and he didn't hesitate to fall into sync with her.


	6. Chapter E

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show, the movie, or the characters.**

**Written on the concept of the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" with the characters from "The Mentalist." All you need to know about the movie is that a couple breaks up, he finds out that she's had him wiped from her memory, and decides to erase her from his memory as well since he's depressed living without her. While his memories are being erased, he realizes he still loves her and wants it to stop. He wants to keep at least the most special memory of the two of them. I think you'll agree with my choice of the special memory for Jane and Lisbon. Enjoy!**

* * *

E is for "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

The trusty Citroen pulled in front of the magnificent Malibu house. Patrick Jane stopped at the mailbox before heading in alone. He flipped through the bills as he passed the furniture, newly bought after he'd left the CBI. He sat heavily on the couch as he pulled out an envelope with a logo he didn't quite recognize. After opening and reading the letter inside, he deduced it was a fancy restraining order. Somebody had apparently had their memory of him erased and he was to either keep away or remember that said person did not remember him. Well, that could be anybody, he laughed to himself. His blood ran cold and his smile froze on his face before disappearing when he saw the name scrawled on the small card.

Teresa Lisbon.

So, she'd needed to forget him, had she? Two could play that game. He'd never be able to stay away forever. And she'd never take him if she didn't remember their history…how she'd saved him from himself…how he'd saved her in his own way…He threw down the small card and called the number on letter.

He walked in for his appointment the next morning, filling out the paperwork and waiting for them to call his name. He followed the young woman back and lay down as they hooked him up to the machine.

"Say goodbye to your memories of your ex-girlfriend, Mr. Jane."

He nodded and closed his eyes, memories of her coming to the forefront of his mind.

* * *

Her responses.

Her surprise when the paper frog jumped just like he'd rigged it to.

The way she still teased him after he'd been knocked unconscious by a foul ball.

"It's fascinating the way your mind works."

She blackmailed someone she respected…for him. She shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have made her feel as if it was an option. She's better off without him. He's doing this for the both of them.

"I thought you two trusted each other." – "So did I."

"Next time."

Every time she's smacked him in the arm. Every time she's protected him, saved him, comforted him. She's the one he's always run to.

He tried to hug her but she wouldn't let him. She'd said he didn't mean it.

"As a friend, this is not okay."

She'd told him to leave. She was prepared to die alone in a dark room with a manipulative murderer and a bomb strapped to her chest. He couldn't leave. He'd said it was vanity.

She wasn't impressed as he used a horsewhip to taunt the prick she was cuffing.

When she flicks his nose for not apologizing to the narcissist and making her job harder.

"Sadder but wiser."

She'd asked him if he was okay. More times than he could count.

She punched a suspect in the face to save his sorry hide.

"Can't you see there are people who care about you?"

* * *

Her expressions.

How beautiful she looked with the tiara and formal gown as she took notes while interviewing the Doverton brothers.

Her indulgent smiles.

The concern she can't hide when she asks if he's okay. She's always asking if he's okay. She always cares.

The look on her face as she spoke of her father as she urged a similar man to get help. Their shared nod as they parted ways after that.

The hurt look on her face after he said "maybe a little."

The look of exasperation on her face as she realizes he was the one who caused all the commotion when he tested a theory.

The jersey…oh, the jersey

The helpless look on her face when he abandons her with an emotional Van Pelt.

The way her face lit up when she saw the emeralds.

The adorable pout on her face when he incorrectly assumes she doesn't know what a truffle is.

The look on her face when she looked at Patrice Madigan's baby girl that he'd just pulled out of the car.

The desperation clear on her features as she performs CPR on Bosco.

The pretty blush that painted her features when he performed his "mind-reading" trick.

The look on her face when he confesses his break-down. How grateful she is at his honesty.

The flattered, disbelieving look on her face when he says he'd call her if he was dying.

The look on her face of sheer awe and the happiest he'd ever seen her when she sees the birthday pony he snuck into her office.

The way she looks after he hugs her and gives her strawberries as an apology.

The wide eyes when he says Novella is going to help them "explore some boundaries."

The priceless look on her face when he stole her sandwich and she chased him.

* * *

Then there were his own responses. The things he'd done for her. The emotions he'd felt. The things he'd said.

"Fair maiden."

The guilt he felt when Minelli sarcastically congratulates him for corrupting Lisbon.

He killed his only Red John lead to save her life.

The fear he felt when he realized she was alone with their killer.

"I know those emeralds look lovely with your eyes."

He picked her up in a fast car and drove to a fancy restaurant in Napa Valley.

Feeling her smile when he was blind.

"I'm a little home. Could you take me drunk?"

* * *

Then there were those moments…those special moments.

Their trust fall.

When she asked him to leave as she fought back tears…and he listened. Why did he listen? Why did he leave? He should have stayed.

The time they shared ice cream.

She called him to ask for his help in finding a bomb. The twisting feeling in his gut as he thought she would die on the other end of the phone while all he could do was helplessly lay on his leather couch.

She'd let Danny go. She'd done it for him. It was only his in-law. She hadn't needed to do it. But she had.

First time they'd met. Oh so long ago. She was so reluctant and tough. He couldn't wait to push her buttons. It hadn't taken much to ruffle her feathers. All his charm hadn't done any good. He'd soon found the only way to get back on her good side was to reach into his more unconventional bag of tricks. Origami, fancy coffee just the way she liked it, a bear claw from Marie's, a new couch she'd never allow herself to indulge in…

He had to admit, as twisted as it may seem, he had enjoyed smearing the dead man's blood along her neck and down her shirt…especially down her shirt. But he'd managed to keep it semi-professional. After all, they were in a bit of a hurry so they wouldn't burn to death.

She was jealous he went out in the field with Hightower and he'd teased her.

She didn't believe him when he said Hightower was corrupt and evil. He didn't push the issue much. He was still a little surprised (and grateful) she'd come to his rescue.

Their arguments…their _many_ arguments

She was shot and he'd made her crawl across the room and call a serial killer. She was shot and he'd used her. He wanted to hate himself for it and probably succeeded on some level.

Their dance. "_Please, let me keep this memory," he begged the doctors though he knew they couldn't hear him._

* * *

Jane awoke with a start, glancing at the four amused faces staring at him as he tried to get his breathing under control.

"Interesting dream?" Lisbon asked, her voice laden with mirth.

"You could say that," he muttered, doing everything in his power to not run over to her, squeeze her, and never let her go.

"Well, I'm going to go question the brother. You coming?"

"Sure," he answered, relieved to escape his couch of nightmares. Alone in the elevator with her, he could no longer control his urges. Lisbon let out a surprised 'oof' as Jane suddenly enveloped her in a bear hug, only letting go right as the doors opened with a chime.


	7. Chapter F

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist or the movies.**

**By the way, dear readers, the descriptions that Jane reads are meant to be from the back of the DVD case. Since I don't own any of the DVDs, I used the descriptions that are on IMDB. Also due to the fact that I don't own the DVDs and couldn't find them online without a lot of hassle, there isn't a lot of detail about the movies.**

* * *

F is for "Friday the 13th" the series

"Hey, Boss, can I talk to you for a minute?" Rigsby asked Lisbon in a whisper instead of leaving right away after they'd received their orders.

Jane looked on curiously before Lisbon shooed him away, mistakenly trusting that he was out of earshot. "What's up?" she asked the tall agent.

"Um, you know that thing we usually do on Halloween?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, it's just that it's Ben's first Halloween and Sarah was thinking – "

"Don't worry about it," she waved a dismissive hand. "I totally understand. Make sure to take some great pictures," she said with a smile before walking toward Jane and the car.

"So," he began and smiled as Lisbon huffed in the driver's seat without taking her eyes from the road. "What do you and Rigsby usually do for Halloween?"

"What makes you think we do anything?"

"I overheard your conversation," he answered with a shrug as if intruding on a private conversation wasn't a big deal. "So," he pushed when she remained silent, "what do you two do on Halloween that's so special Rigsby felt bad for abandoning you?"

"None of your business."

"Alright, guessing it is. Well, seeing as it's Halloween, I'm going to assume it's something related to that. Neither of you are really the costume party type so I'm going to assume it's some sort of horror movie marathon, am I right?"

He could see the defeat in the slight slump of her shoulders but she refused to give him the satisfaction so he pushed on. "The two of you aren't particularly close so I'm assuming you made some connection and began having separate marathons and discussing them at work the next day before actually meeting together for this marathon. Rigsby does it of course because he is a man with a violent streak. You do it because you grew up with three brothers."

He paused and turned slightly in his seat toward her as if struck with an epiphany. "This is important to you. You used to do it with your brothers and kept up the tradition even though you were no longer watching it with your brothers but it made you feel lonely and sharing it with Rigsby, who's more like your brothers than anyone else on the team, somehow made it less lonely."

"Fine. Alright, you got me, Jane. Well done."

"Hey, why don't I come over in Rigsby's place?"

"What?"

"What?" He shrugged. "It's obviously important to you and there's no need for you to feel lonely, especially when you have someone special to share it with."

"I don't need your pity, Jane."

"No pity, friend. Besides, we both you're dying to be the one to indoctrinate me into the society of horror film watchers."

* * *

Jane smiled and turned to the new DVD case that Lisbon had just shoved in his hands as she put the disc in and settled beside him on the couch. "_Camp counselors are stalked and murdered by an unknown assailant while trying to re-open a summer camp that was the site of a child's drowning._" He turned questioning eyes to Lisbon.

"Hey, you're the one who insisted on being here. No mocking."

"No mocking," he repeated with innocent expression and raised hands. "Scary indeed," Jane commented as the counselors began singing along with droll guitar playing. Lisbon lightly smacked him with the back of her hand but chuckled nonetheless. "And cue the low-budget creeping up behind the unsuspecting victims."

"It isn't low-budget. It's the '80s!"

"Obviously, from the poor choice in style," he noted in response to the outdated outfits of the camp counselors.

"Hindsight's 20/20."

"Somebody likes to watch," he commented with a crude chuckle.

Lisbon looked at him in wonder. "Do all guys think the same things at that part?"

"Porn is an industry for a reason," he quipped. She rolled her eyes but turned her attention back to the movie. "Is the underlying message to not have premarital sex?"

"There's a reason for the counselors being killed while doing that."

"And that would be…" he trailed off for her to fill in the blank.

"That would be ruining the fun."

"Fun for you," he countered.

"That's the fun that matters." She smirked as she turned his own words against him.

"So, what? The camp is haunted or something?"

"Something like that."

"And I take it all goes back to the drowning of the kid."

"Wow, you should consider being a detective," she countered dryly.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."

"Really? Because I thought it would be stating the obvious as if it's some big secret."

"In what way was it obvious?"

"It's on the box!" She wiggled the DVD case in front of him to further prove her point.

* * *

"_Mrs. Voorhees is dead, and Camp Crystal Lake is shut down, but a camp next to the infamous place is stalked by an unknown assailant. Is it Mrs. Voorhees' son Jason who didn't drown in the lake some 30 years before?_" Jane shot Lisbon a cheeky grin. "Well, is it?"

She gave him her best 'duh' face. "What do you think?"

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what to think given this is an 18 hour marathon."

* * *

"You wanna read this one?" Jane asked as he set up the next movie.

"Sure. _Having escaped in the last episode, Jason is back, hockey mask and all, to continue his murderous rampage across Crystal Lake._"

"Of course he didn't die," Jane muttered as they saw Jason remove the blade from his shoulder from the previous movie.

* * *

"_After being mortally wounded and taken to the morgue, murderer Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives and embarks on a killing spree as he makes his way back to his home at Crystal Lake," _Lisbon read as Jane came back from the kitchen with fresh coffee for the both of them.

"Wait, if this is the final chapter, why do you have 12 movies?"

"Because it isn't the end."

"Then why is it named the final chapter?"

"Oh, it's not the first time they tried to end the series. There's another one later on called The Final Friday."

* * *

"_Still haunted by his gruesome past, Tommy Jarvis - the boy who killed Jason Voorhees - wonders if somehow he is connected to brutal slayings occurring in and around the secluded halfway house where he now lives._ So is it him or a copycat?"

"Watch the movie and find out, Jane. Where's the fun in me just telling you what happens?"

"The fun, Teresa, is spending this much time with you," he answered matter-of-factly, reveling in her blush.

* * *

"_Tommy goes to a graveyard to get rid of Jason's body, but he accidentally brings him back to life. Jason wants revenge! Tommy must defeat Jason once and for all!_ Somehow I doubt that," Jane muttered.

Lisbon laughed but said nothing as she pressed play, leaning her tired head on his shoulder.

* * *

"_Years after Tommy Jarvis chained him underwater at Camp Crystal Lake, the hulking killer Jason Vorhees returns to the camp grounds when he's released accidently by a teenager with psychic powers," _Jane read and turned to Lisbon who interrupted before he could say anything more.

"I know and I agree. There's no such thing as psychics."

* * *

"_A passing boat bound for New York pulls Jason along for the ride. Look out New York, here comes hell in a hockey mask. _That is awful advertisement."

"It is," Lisbon agreed. "But don't worry; we're almost in the '90s."

* * *

"_Serial killer Jason's supernatural origins are revealed_," Jane read from the back of the DVD case. "Lisbon, at what point did you ever realize that this is getting ridiculous?"

"Any more ridiculous than your plans to catch the bad guys?"

* * *

"_Jason Voorhees returns with a new look, a new machete, and his same murderous attitude as he is awakened on a spaceship in the 25th century._ A spaceship, Lisbon?"

She laughed and he lay on his side, bringing her in front of him so they could comfortably stretch out. "Yeah, okay, it's ridiculous now. But they're not bad movies and, besides, it's tradition."

He petted her soft hair placatingly as the movie started.

* * *

"_Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees return to terrorize the teenage population. Except this time, they're out to get each other, too._"

"Freddy is another series," Lisbon explained.

"So, this is sort of like the king of scary movies?"

"Something like that, yeah."

* * *

"Hey, Boss," Rigsby greeted Lisbon on Monday morning. "Sorry again about Halloween."

"That's okay. I found someone to watch the marathon with. What did Ben dress up as?" she asked before he could question her movie marathon companion. She returned Jane's smile over Rigsby's phone with a picture of Ben dressed as a lion while the enthusiastic agent rattled on about his son's first Halloween.


	8. Chapter G

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the movie…I've never actually even seen the movie…**

**Sorry for the late wait. Been busy with school. Please don't leave a comment about the godfather's name being wrong. I changed it for a reason. Other than that, I really appreciate reviews :)**

* * *

G is for "Godfather"

"Two young males, probably in their 20s," Lisbon began to fill Jane in when she saw him walk up. She wanted to get to the point before he could start the late night off with some sarcastic remark. "We're working on an ID now."

"No blood puddle," he pointed out. "They weren't killed here."

"No, this is sort of a body dumping ground."

"Ah, been here before?"

She smirked slightly at his casual tone as if he was asking her about her regular coffee shop. "Yeah, it's where I disposed of my last irritating consultant," she quipped.

"You know you love it, Lisbon. These guys look familiar," he mentioned before she could protest his first point.

"You know, they sort of do."

"Tyler Dryer and Kevin Mendin," Cho informed the pair. "Recently went to trial for suspected assault on a young woman whose godmother is married to suspected mob boss Don Vito Corriloni."

* * *

"The Don didn't do it," Jane said matter-of-factly back in the bullpen of the CBI.

"Stop calling him the "Don." We don't know for sure that he is. And how can you be so sure?" Lisbon asked skeptically.

"Because people in that high position of power never get their hands dirty. But he does know who did it, though he'd never tell, of course," the consultant explained.

"How do you break a notorious mob boss?" Van Pelt thought aloud.

"Give him an offer he can't refuse," Rigsby quoted with a poorly done accent as Lisbon rolled her eyes and Cho cracked a rare smile.

"Like what?" Van Pelt asked.

Jane smirked. "Ask him a favor on the day of his daughter's wedding."

"This is not the 'Godfather', Jane!"


	9. Chapter H

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, or movie.**

**Because I only limited this to minor characters (the main character isn't even in this), I was able to upload it a lot sooner and it isn't ridiculously long.**

* * *

H is for "He's Just Not That Into You"

"Boss! I've figured it out!" Van Pelt rushed in.

Lisbon looked up wide-eyed at the unusually disheveled young agent. "You figured out who the killer is?"

"What? Oh, no. I've figured out my problem with these guys I've been seeing."

Lisbon gave an awkward smile but indulged Grace to continue. "Really?"

"Yes. Remember that guy Kyle who cheated on me? And Maggie from the Arson unit said her brother-in-law cheated on her sister; and then he changed his ways and they're now happily faithfully ever after?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Maggie's sister is the exception. All those women who dated losers just like the losers I dated and then those men changed and got their happily ever after, they're the exception! They're the exception and we're not. We're the rule!"

"So, you're telling me that if I heard of a woman who knew a man that wasn't ready to move on and she waited on him for years to have him come to this realization and they got their happily ever after, they're the exception."

"Yes."

"But we're the rule."

"Yes."

"And the rule is that Jane is never going to move on and I'm just wasting my time."

"Ye-no. No! No, no, no, no. I was just talking about me, my specific example."

"Ladies," Jane greeted as he trotted in, charming smile in place, and interrupted Grace's babbling. Lisbon took one glaring look at him before storming out, taking Cho to presumably interview a suspect. "Should I ask what you two were talking about?" he asked Van Pelt.

She frowned sympathetically, with a fair amount of regret. "Sorry, Jane."

* * *

"Case closed," Jane announced as he looked around the office, weighing his responses.

"Case closed," Lisbon agreed calmly.

"Want to go for a drink? You seemed a bit tense this case."

"Have I?" she asked dryly.

"Yes," he said, facing her full on. He was tired of the whole charade. "What's going on with you? And don't tell me it's about the case. You've been fine with everyone else but me. Is there something going on between you and me? And Van Pelt's been wary and skittish since her conversation with you this morning. What did you two talk about? Me? Lisbon, if I've done something, just tell me what it is and we can work it out."

"Jane, if I'm tense, then that's my problem. It is not your responsibility to deal with that."

"Then whose is it?"

"Mine." She rolled her eyes at his scoff. "I'm a big girl, Jane; I can take care of myself."

"Really? And when was the last time you ate?" He paused to give her a moment to think. "The very point that you have to think is reason enough that someone needs to take care of you and who else is around to do it?"

"Still doesn't concern you."

"Sure it does."

"How? How does it concern you?"

"Well, I was under the impression that we'd become friends over our entire time together."

"Of course we're friends. You're also friends with the team members and I don't see you bugging Grace or Cho or Rigsby like this."

"That's different," he waved off her argument.

"How?" she demanded.

"You know how. You're more important to me than they are. That's why I bug you the way I do but I know for a fact that it doesn't bug you. You like when I do nice things for you. You like it when I try to make you smile."

"Well, stop! Just stop doing all these nice things for me. Stop trying to make me smile all the time. Stop treating me differently than you treat everyone else because we both know this isn't leading anywhere; and I'm not going to continue going along with this because it's just – it's crap!"

"What do you mean 'it's crap'?"

"This! Us! You once told me you loved me and when I questioned you, you avoided it and I let you! I let you! I thought you needed more time but you know what, Jane? You don't need more time. You could have all the time in the world and if you ever even _did _move on, it won't be with me. I don't know why I ever thought it would. But, you know what? I'm done. We're still friends and we're still partners but I don't want you treating me any differently than the team. I don't want you acting like we're ever going to be more than we are…as friends. Because we both know you can't do it. So, just stop doing all these things unless you actually want it to lead to a relationship with me," she finished softly before leaving him standing there alone.

The day had finally come. She had offered up the challenge but he couldn't take the bait. He couldn't give her what she wanted.

* * *

Lisbon took a deep breath and summoned her courage, knocking on the attic door. She smiled sadly at the voice on the other side meekly ordering her to go away. She took a small pleasure in defying those orders and opening the door. The man inside looked over at her before sitting up on his makeshift bed. "Oh, Lisbon. Another case, I presume."

She took a moment to notice how he'd aged in the two weeks since their argument. Sure, she'd seen him since then. They'd been out in the field together, interrogated together, etc. But she'd not really looked at him since then. There'd been no coffee or tea shared, no bantering; he'd not even haunted her office couch. It was time for all of that to end. "Um, actually, no. I need to say something and I need you to let me get it out without any mind games."

"Okay," he agreed easily and she came to stand in front of him, nervously fidgeting with her hands.

"I see all these people in relationships and they're not happy. They're not happy like we were. I don't need things to change. I don't need to be in a relationship with you. I don't want all that. I just want you. I want us. I want my best friend back."

"You do?"

"I do," she nodded. "And I'm sorry."

"So, I can start bugging you again?" he asked with the familiar teasing glint in his eye.

She smiled in spite of herself. "Yes."

"About eating lunch – "

"Yes."

"and dinner – "

"Yes."

"and breakfast…"

"I suppose if we're up that early."

"Breakfast after a romantic dinner."

"What?" She paused and Jane smiled but said nothing, getting down on one knee in front of Lisbon, who felt as if she was about to hyperventilate. "Jane, there a couple of steps you're skipping between friends and – and this," she panicked.

"Hush, it's not what you think," he softly chided as he took her hand. "Teresa Lisbon, will you go on a date with me?"

She smiled and shook her head slightly at his eccentricity. "Sure, I'll go on a date with you."


	10. Chapter I

**Disclaimer: I don't own them but it sure is fun to play with them :)**

I is for "Indiana Jones"

"Miss Teresa," seven-year-old Ben Rigsby looked at his father's boss, "what happened to your leg?"

Lisbon looked down at the cast before answering him. "It got hurt when I was taking on a bad guy with your daddy, Uncle Cho, and Miss Grace."

"I hurt my leg once. Mommy put a band-aid on it. I didn't get a big special band-aid like yours."

Lisbon smiled. "Well, let's hope you never do."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really."

"My leg didn't hurt either when I got a boo-boo. I'm a big boy."

"Yes, you are. I bet you were really brave, huh?"

"Yeah! Brave like Daddy and Indiana Jones!"

"Indiana Jones, huh? He _is_ really brave."

"You know what the best thing about Indiana Jones is, Ben?" Jane asked him as he strolled into Lisbon's office. "Hey Lisbon."

"What's the best thing, Mr. Patrick?"

Jane leaned in conspiratorially. "The adventure," he whispered, sharing a big smile with the little boy.

"Yeah!"

"The adventure is the best part of our job here," Jane continued.

"You get to go on adventures, Mr. Patrick?" he asked wide-eyed.

"More than his fair share," Lisbon mumbled.


	11. Chapter J

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the movie.**

**Sorry it's been so long, loyal readers. Hope to have more chapters uploaded tonight.**

* * *

J is for "Jaws"

"Come on, Lisbon, it's a classic!"

"You're always saying that," the brunette retorted as she rolled her eyes.

"And it still rings true," he smiled as he patted the seat next to him on the couch.

She sat heavily beside him in spite of herself. "It's just another excuse for you to feed your latest obsession."

"What obsession?" He asked innocently as he put his arm around the back of the couch behind her.

"Last time a shark ate the evidence, you started reading the book. Now we have a victim who may or may not have been killed by a person or a shark and you want to watch the movie," she retorted despite the fact she unconsciously settled against his side and his arm came to rest around her shoulders unnoticed by the pair of them. "Besides, we're at work."

He pressed play and watched the opening credits roll. "Call it research and development," he quipped with his signature megawatt smile.


	12. Chapter K

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the movie.**

* * *

K is for "Karate Kid"

Jane strolled into the bullpen. "Hey, where's Lisbon?"

"In her office," Rigsby answered.

"But, Jane," Van Pelt rushed to stop him. "I wouldn't go in there. She's in a really bad mood."

"What do you mean?" he asked, sensing this wasn't a typical Lisbon bad mood.

"Well, apparently the arrest didn't go very well," Grace hedged.

"He went all Karate Kid on her," Cho deadpanned.

Jane couldn't stop the short laugh that bubbled out. "That's not possible. Nobody hits Lisbon." At their silence, he continued to Lisbon's office. "That's absurd." He walked in like he owned the place as usual, just barely dodging the paperweight that sailed his way.

"Get out!" the petite brunette yelled.

He stopped short at her black eye and cut lip. "They weren't joking."

"Does this look like a joke to you?" she asked incredulously.

He didn't – couldn't – answer and was saved as Cho stepped in. "Jane, you coming to interrogation?"

The blonde consultant finally shook out of his stupor. "This is what you call having her back?" he accused before leaving, Cho following just in time to stop the consultant from assaulting the suspect in interrogation.


	13. Chapter L

**Disclaimer: I don't own the movie or the show.**

**Well, this is the last chapter for tonight. Hope you enjoy it :)**

* * *

L is for "Letters to Juliet"

"Hey, how was your trip to Europe?" Lisbon asked, still surprised Jane had actually returned.

"It was excellent. I got to see the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the colloseum in Rome, etc. Plus, I got to see the wall where women - and I suppose a few men - hide letters to Juliet, asking her for love advice."

"Just like in that movie Letters to Juliet?"

"Exactly like it. In fact, I had the pleasure of meeting some women similar to those in the movie who answer the letters."

"And you brought back an older woman from Italy, is that what you're trying to tell me?" she quipped.

He grinned. "No, not quite. But I did charm them enough to see the unanswerable letters."

"Unanswerable letters?"

"Yeah, the ones who don't leave a name or return address."

"They keep those?"

"Indeed they do. Those are the truly interesting ones. Their problems are so complicated that it's usually a hopeless Catch 22 and they don't want advice."

"Or they couldn't live with the consequences of taking that advice."

"That's exactly what makes them so interesting. They aren't petty problems. In fact, I found an unanswered letter that particularly stuck out and the ladies let me keep it."

"I bet they did." She could just picture Patrick Jane laying on the charm thickly until a cobra would obey. "So what was it about this particular letter that made you use your charming powers for evil?"

"For good, Lisbon," he corrected with a mischievous smile. "And to answer your question, I thought I could help this particular person."

"And how exactly are you capable of helping this person?" she asked skeptically.

"Well, the woman who wrote the letter wrote of loving a grieving widow who was intent on avenging his family's deaths. I'd say that's my expertise, wouldn't you agree?"

"That's, um, oddly specific. But, yes, I suppose that would be your expertise," she hedged carefully. "So, um, how exactly are you going to help her? I thought you said the letter didn't have a name or address."

"Right, I did say that. Funny enough, though, I couldn't help but feel this connection to the woman who wrote this letter. Then, one day, I realized why that was. I recognized the handwriting."

"Did you now?" she asked as she avoided eye contact, trying to sound amused to mask her nervousness.

He came to stand in front of her. "Yeah and I bet if you looked at it, you'd recognize it too."

"You're that confident, huh?" She asked as she gave up the pretense of working and looked up into his eyes.

"Absolutely."

"Well, I've learned to never bet against you. Is this letter the only reason you came back?"

"Is that what you think?"

"I think you're a person who can't be at peace without answers."

"Normally, you'd be right in your assumptions. However, this time, Teresa Lisbon, you are dead wrong. Mystery and answers weren't what brought me here and they're not what going to keep me here either."

"So what is it exactly that keeps the great Patrick Jane from running?" she joked and they both shared a smile.

"You," he answered simply, abandoning his plan to beat around the bush and tease her. When he saw her breath catch in her throat and the myriad of emotions play across her face, he hung on to the elation he saw and jumped at the opportunity to make his move. He leaned down the last few centimeters and softly pressed his lips against hers in a sweet first kiss.


	14. Chapter M

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist or Minority Report.

Spoiler Alert if you haven't seen the movie.

M is for Minority Report

"I don't understand why something like this hasn't been invented."

Lisbon cautiously turned the corner searching for the flabbergasted voice of Patrick Jane. She smirked as she noticed the DVD he was holding.

"We don't have the technology."

"Seriously, why aren't we doing something like this? It would make our jobs so much easier, stopping crimes before they ever happen…much more proactive," he murmured thoughtfully.

"Because it doesn't exist," she retorted, "and you would probably end up just like the main character, having your name turn up as a future murderer."

"Even if the person I murdered was a murderer?"

"Still a murder, Jane. Like I've been trying to tell you for years," she grumbled to herself, causing Jane to smirk, before continuing. "Then the murderer would live free as long as he never intended to commit murder again."

He rethought the movie plot. "Maybe it's a good thing Minority Report isn't real."

"Well, his name turning up was really a set-up; but, for you, I have no doubt you'd be pegged as a potential murderer."

Jane gasped in horror. "Lisbon! Spoiler alert," he chastised. Lisbon rolled her eyes with a smirk as she continued to look through the DVD collection at the video store.


End file.
